Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Please lift the helmet rule on 14th Feb

Recently, wearing helmets has been made compulsory in Bangalore. Many people really don’t like the idea because they think that it is their right to do whatever they want with their own heads. SUPERB ARGUMENT…But the aspect of the rule that has really disappointed me is something else. I have started to look upon the helmet as an unaesthetic burden and an enemy of love.

Explaining…..

1. This ugly round tin has taken away all the charm of a tight -lift-romantic ride. Now you need to have a microphone inside your helmet to talk to your girlfriend sitting behind you. Moreover, the possibility of experiencing the warmth and smoothness of her cheeks (while she tries to listen to your intentionally lowly uttered words) has come down to 0%-The half kilo bucket is in the middle now.

2. Think of the annoying, lazy, dusty, smoky, noisy traffic jams while going to the office. The only way to keep you motivated and to preserve the patience and energy for the works in the office (as per my understanding) is to look at the beautiful faces around. Now all the beautiful faces are inside some ugly round objects.

3. Remember: while going shopping, you normally used the second hand (of course the first one was busy carrying all the stuff that the lady had bought) to hold a soft hand walking by your side. Now you are holding a damm…HELMET.

4.Think of the most romantic(Expensive) candle light dinner with the most beautiful lady( Ehem…Ehem…)….and the ugly black bucket with 100 scratches occupying one third of the table…sucks….

With all the above arguments, I would like to request the concerned authority to lift the rule at least for the Valentine's Day.
(Despite all the above annoyance, I would like to thank the new rule for saving many lives on the streets…KUDOS.....).

Five easy tips to be the talk of the town

Being popular is a lengthy process.Atleast when I go through the advices given in the so called great books, I really think so. They talk about all the boring things like hard work, motivation, bla bla...

So here I have come out with five wonderful ideas to be instantly the talk of the town. None of them is lengthy, the only thing that you need is a pocketful of guts.

1.Go morning walk with your pet pig. Hold the pig with an iron chain. Take special care that your pet doesn’t get hurt as you may have to drag it on certain occasions.

2.Go to a cheap designer to modify your pressure cooker to a cycle helmet. Use it excessively while you ride your bicycle.

3.Buy a personal auto rickshaw instead of a car. Decorate it with all the buoyant colors. Dress smartly to drive it. Don’t forget to write distinctly on the back of the auto: “FREE LIFT FOR SINGLE BEAUTIES”.

4.Change your wardrobe to have at least 3 sets of red shirts, yellow ties and green trowsers.Wear those regularly for at least two weeks on the road until people start recognizing you.

Now, this is the most glorious idea…

5.Buy a pair of wicket keeping pads. Wear those on top of your trousers while riding your bike .Don’t forget to write on top of them…..“Insured for $100000”… INSTANT SUCCESS…………..
(Note: The writer does not take any responsibility of any circumstances that arise while executing the above ideas or after that).

You need to have girlfriends to get married arranged

“If you don’t have a girlfriend, arranged marriage can be a real tough bet for you”. The statement is not that simple as you guys are probably thinking. Not having a girlfriend inevitably means that now you have only one alternative: arranged marriage.

Now, this really happened to one of my friends couple of months ago. During the interview process of his marriage, my friend most honestly disclosed that he never had a girlfriend which made the entire family of the ‘would be bride’ turn extremely suspicious. The impression was: “This guy is hiding his innumerous affairs”. At the sole interest of the bride, her father hired a private detective (the Mama of the girl who happens to stay in Bangalore) to investigate. But after a month when the detective produced his report, the marriage was immediately cancelled from the bride’s side.

The conclusions drawn were:

Either my friend had serious shortcomings ( physical or mental) OR
Might be a gay.

The girl turned my friend down saying that it was a matter of prestige for her than anything else to marry a guy who could never manage to have a girlfriend. How would she be able to tolerate the insult when showing the hottest lash around, her friend would say: “Look at her…the hot babe…she is my hubby’s ex-girlfriend”.

Gone away those days when girls used to search guys like …..!!! Friends, if you still don’t have a girlfriend….manage at least to have some good friends who are girls. You may have to ask them to pretend to be your ex girlfriends to your would be wife…a small lie from their side may win you the deal. After all, a friend in need is a friend indeed.

The Living Legends of Nonsense Thinking: Gang of Five

The real object behind the concept of Nonsense Thinking is not new. A few relatively unknown thinkers practiced it excessively in the last decade when I had the opportunity to meet them. But due to their urge to remain under profiled, the concept remained unknown. But today, when I have decided to take the pain to carry the idea to the public, I sincerely need the helping hands and blessings of these great minds. Many things that I am going to write are outcome of some mind boggling high level discussions with these legends at some point of time.

The Gang of five Great nonsense thinkers:

Mr. Chandan Sarma (Don’t know where has he disappeared)
Mr. Pranjal Gogoi
Mr. Santanu Bhattacharjee( Heard that he has returned to mainstream leaving nonsense thinking)
Mr. Mozahidur Abedin AND
The Great Mr. Riki Mudoi…………………………….

Guys , I need your help to make the ‘Nonsense Thinking’ revolution a reality…….